When most people start their life-changing, enlightening, inspirational journey, they usually start on day 1 – some of them even on day 0 which they can use as a pretext to enjoy all the worldly and heavenly pleasures before they embark on (supposedly) long-lived yet excruciating journey in a guilt-fuelled attempt to make something out of themselves.
To no surprise, most of them fail as they try to keep up with various short-to-medium term goals they set up for themselves. Goals that are a mere echo of the value structure they created over the course of their lives. To create reasonable goals, they need to change their inner workings first - which is unsurprisingly difficult task and one of the reasons, why I decided to write my first post on day 17 of my self-improvement adventure At first you need to make sure that ship is fully functional and headed in the right direction before you write into the log-book (in my case nevermind finding the right direction, it took me ~800 days to build a damn ship).
Upon harsh realization that their dreams, hopes and accomplishments they longed for will be (with utmost certainty) left unfulfilled, most of them simply revert (as a particularly effective yet dream shattering coping mechanism) to their „default“ uninspired mode of thought in which they take on their duties as they come and apart from, spending time with their dearest or watching the new „fresh“ Netflix-produced blockbuster, there is very little they can look out for.
After all, they portray themselves as merely a victim of a circumstance, cog in a giant machine they have a minuscule influence on. While there is a good deal of evidence to suggest, that we have very little control over our own lives, I don’t think it’s beneficial to just give in to the fact, that in the grand scheme of things, our entire life will probably amount to nothing.
I’m gonna come right out and say it. My entire life I have been an under-achiever. Wake up. Go to school. Finish your homework that was due (alternatively skim through materials just before the test). Be in a “Dying of boredom” for about 6 hours. Eat lunch. Get home. Apart from doing some maintenance and a couple chores waste my time for about 7-9 hours. Go sleep.
Day in, day out - one big uninspiring cycle... oh wait, that doesn't feel right at all.
That’s what I first realized after I graduated from high school and had full-fledged 4 months to indulge in playing video games and other "meaningful" activities. After coming to a realization, that I probably should do something about my uninspiring life, I proceeded to do nothing about it. I simply didn't have a clue where to start to change my life for a better, and as a result, I utterly failed.
As of writing this paragraph, I am 20 years, 1 month, 26 days old. Out of these little more than 20 years, a huge chunk of it was spent sleeping but an even bigger chunk of it was marginally or completely wasted. It’s not my intention to delve too deep into my past because anyone with a functioning brain would have closed this page in an instant I started to write about my life story because they would have known, how little information value they would have gotten if they had stuck around.
At this point, (if you took your valuable time and read this far into this amateur-ish post) you might be wondering what the aim of this article (and blog) is.
To say it bluntly, the sole purpose of this blog (for now) is to document my life decisions as I will attempt to improve quality of my life to the point I’ll be satisfied with myself – then I hopefully keep moving forward. For now, that is all there is to it but it might change in the future.
Hope you are having a good day
Cheers
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